My Haven by the Lake

Well, still not having very much luck in finding another job...  I know there is one... Just haven't found it yet.  Even though, scoring an interview right now wouldn't exactly be coming at the very best of times...  Seeing as how, I could schedule one and then get news that My Dad is not doing well...  and Steven and I making a trip to Show Low, AZ.  

Not exactly doing well after finding out that Dad was in the hospital last night, but it could explain why I hadn't been sleeping very well.  Things seem to happen in sequence for me...  Everything is fine after Steven and I vacation with Dad at the end of july...  Come home, get a new job...  2 weeks later, lose said job, lose sleep and then last night...  bleep...  Cell phone says new text from Dad and Lori....  Get news, Call...  Find out.  From there, just spend the rest of the night feeling numb...  I don't know what it is.  I will keep updating from here as time goes on.

Welcome to the group for people who dating people who are 2 or more years younger...   Whether you are smitten and wanna share the joy or you are so frustrated that you could just scream and wanna share...  Maybe there is someone out there who understands what you are going through?  Like me, your host for instance.  Now, about me, My name is Sarah, I am 25 and dating my 8th grade sweetheart, Steven who is 2 years younger than me... He's 23.  (yes, that would have made him in 7th grade at that time) Now, I won't get into much detail about how we met or anything like that...  you can see that on my main vox at Crystalbluemoonlight. 

However, we are living in his childhood home with his father and 5 dogs...  or "The Boys" as his father calls them...  I hate the neighborhood because it makes the slum look like the foothills.  Steven tells me he wants out of the neighborhood and away from his Dad...  but when we start looking for a place and I want to get serious about it...  he says that I'm forcing him...  This makes me so mad!!!!  It's like he wants to break out of everything he's known and then just when things start to get serious, he runs and hangs tighter to "Daddy's tool belt"  and we land up fighting about it. 

I almost walked out last night after the fight...  maybe someone has some suggestions on how to deal with this...  Do I tell him to grow up and let go of pops or lose me?

Hey all...  Well, after almost a year, I've decided to make an introductory post into this blog...  This blog will be public for the most part and if you make good...  You may just get invited to my blog on myspace which I do like to keep a little more exclusive.

However, moving right along:

About me: My name is Sarah, I'm 25 years old, and at this current time trying to get into my dream job, apartment leasing... I am divorced.  I have a great many interests.  I spend most of my spare time with my boyfriend, Steven...  Who happens to be my 8th grade sweetheart.  We found each other when we both were trying to register for school at Pima College. We found it interesting that we ran into each other after I had heard he moved to Flagstaff, AZ.  After talking for a while, as we both were leaving, I gave him my phone number.  20 minutes later, he calls and 40 minutes after that he was at my house.  For those few weeks, we were inseperable, always going places.

Finally, after finding myself spending many of nights at what is now "home"  on the southeast side of Tucson...  I moved in.  Though Steven and I have had a great many ups and downs, we manage to see each other through.  He has helped me through a great many heartaches that I've just shoved aside and from that we are learning not to change for each other, but with each other.  Now a year has passed, and the more I find out who I am inside...  I cannot believe how much time I spent hiding behind a rosey colored picture of how things were going to be -- painted by my sorry excuse for white trash ex husband, Jeremy.  While he kept painting, I kept believing.  It landed up ruining a great many friendships with people who were trying to make me see reality. 

Those friendships were part of the ultimate price I paid for the dream, which was not really going to come true.  I can never get those back...  and I deserved every bit of it for being as stupid as I was.  Steven has helped me mix who I was when we were kids and who I am today...  and I find that I have only become that much stronger. 

Dreams are very powerful...  especially if they are fueled by someone else's promises...  It's ok to have dreams, as long as they don't define how you live... because one who doesn't dream, has no soul.

on that note, I must conclude or I won't get anything done!